The beginning

Ok, my first post. I've been struggling about what to write and how to write it for a long time. I shouldn't have taken that long. In that vast time I couldn't figure out what this blog will be about. Will I ever? No idea.

What motivates me is the illusion that someone out there might find what I say somewhat insightful, interesting or at least mildly entertaining. The fact is that I will never find out if I don't give it a try, right?

The hope is that in that attempt I will find a voice and continue writing. My best guess is that there'll be (1) a bit about getting comfortable being an outsider in Heung Gong, (2) some stories about trying to understand people's interesting behaviour, (3) hopefully some thoughts about local politics (i.e. Hong Kong) or lack thereof, (4) perhaps the odd review about a tasty eatery and (5) maybe even some thoughts about wine (lately I've been attempting to make educated choices at the supermaket). All those bits should give enough material for a blog until I find THE topic I'm passionate about or until you tell me what you enjoy reading the most.

That should be enough of a preface for what's coming.

Now, to really start things off, I leave you with this story. I think it's a combination of a (1) and (2):

December 26, 2008

Just before dawn, at around 6 am, the phone rings and we get woken up. Her friend is here. We tell her to come up. We are expecting her.

A couple of days ago, S asked if it’d be ok if L, her friend, stayed over the night of the 26. L lives in Tai Po, a long 45-minute taxi ride from LKF, and I said: “No problem, there’s no need to ask.”

She actually doesn’t live in Tai Po. She lives in LA, California. After doing enough high school in HK, she studied at a prestigious US university, graduated with a business and something-else degree, and got a job at a respected financial company, where she’s worked since late 2005.

L is visiting HK for the holidays and naturally she wants to meet S, one of her best friends from childhood. Their plan was to hang out on the 27 and for convenience’s sake, she would stay at ours.

So, she calls, wakes us up. S had prepared the bed earlier tonight. She gets out of bed to open the door. As she receives L, she realizes that she has brought a friend along. Or, a friend broght L home because she couldn't do it on her own.

I knew L would be hammered. I didn’t know her very well, but the little I knew told me that she had an affinity for drinking. No judgement there – it’s a shared affinity. Had we, S and myself, been partying with L, I wouldn’t have cared who, or if, she brought anybody for the night.

Though very drunk, L can still talk. S welcomes her and her friend, and comes back to bed. Not five minutes have passed when I hear the moaning of bad sex coming from the living into our bedroom.

Having sex with strangers is fine. But having sex with strangers at your friend's place, who aren't sharing your drunken mental state and are only separated by the thinness of the drywall between the bedroom and the living room, seems a bit intrusive.

S notices I’m slightly annoyed, waits for the act to finish—must have been a few minutes—and tells the guy to leave. I feel a tiny bit of sympathy for him. Or maybe the sympathy came the next day after L, S and I chatted friendlily about the event, because the guy was just trying to please L.

Guy-friend leaves, S tells L how she has screwed up (in more than one way that is), and L cries. I try to fall asleep, but I’m too annoyed. L sounds very embarrassed and says she’s going home. But she’s too drunk to go anywhere.

L calms down, S comes back to bed, apologizes to me for the wake-up call. I explain that I’m not annoyed at her, but at L, and that L should be apologizing to her, not to me. She tells me that after the conversation, L still probably doesn’t get the point. I’m not surprised, but hope that once she’s sober, sometime tomorrow, she’ll be able to make sense of it all.

Everybody sleeps.