15,000 km away...starting to feel the distance

Finally the marathon of family events related to CNY has ended. Don't get me wrong - I like family events. But four days of getting together, stuffing ourselves with the same dishes (e.g., lingo, turnip cake, taro cake, peanuts, overly mushromy stuff, etc.) is too much for this gweilo. Even accepting red pockets gets a little excessive. Why are these people giving me money anyway? The positive part, I guess, is that my Cantonese has been improving a little. How could it not, if it was the only thing I heard for days at a time.

But this isn't a serious complaint. I brought myself here, so if there was anyone to blame, anyone, it could only be me.

Leaving CNY behind, family continues to be an interesting topic. I've been trying to participate in family events as much as possible for the last three months (i.e., yam cha and dinners on Sundays, CNY, plus a number of other dinners, the number of which vary depending on the week - sometimes there could be as many as three, sometimes none). Anyway, it's all good. Usually there's no pressure to show up, so long as there's a good excuse for it. Being hung over or not feeling like it, don't seem to cut it. I've been told over and over: "Never mind, you don't have to come." But I sense a different message.

The problem is probably with my perception and my inability to explain things the way I see them (or is it the lack of interest or inability to perceive them from others?). Hard to tell. In any case, I'm starting to feel some bigger cultural differences and not sure how I feel about them. Here are a few:

• No family visits. No, I don't live in a hospital. We came about three and a half months ago. Since then, apart from the the Uncle who helped us move in, only one time three members of the family have visited us (same Uncle, grandma and cousin). Mom and Dad haven't showed up, ever, even after repeated invitations. Generally I wouldn't mind it. And some might say that I should count myself lucky. But the fact is that my own mother and father are respectively more than 15,000 km away in opposite directions from the fragrant harbour and would love to accept an invitation for dinner at my table. In fact, once they overcome the 15,000 km, they will be here. They are already planning it. So, S's parents, who are just a bus ride away (ok, a bus and a MTR ride away) can't be bothered. Sorry, inexcusable. Especially when I show up at their place as many times as possible and try my best to be courteous to their invitations. Isn't every relationship a two-way street? A bit of it is explained by the fact the mother is extremely busy and the father spends most of his time north of the Lo Wu border. Another bit is explained by the fact that we're living under the same roof in an extra-marital relationship (i.e., the fact that we've been together for over seven years, of which the last three and a half we've lived together doesn't count, but the fact that we haven't signed a meaningless (in our perspective) social contract does.)
• Explaining a hang over. How do you justify to people who don't drink the pains of a hang over? Mine are extremely bad. The problem is that 15,000 km (in any direction) I could talk freely about how shitty I feel after a night of heavy drinking. But here, that topic is beyond their reality, simply because they are non-drinkers. Lately I've been facing myself with the questions: (1) Should I be adapting my drinking habits? (The answer is yes, but only to keep a healthy lifestyle). (2) Should I care about what they make of my late Friday and Saturday nights? (Probably not). In any case, it bothers me that I feel like I have to justify something that doesn't have to be justified 15,000 km away.

That's it for now from this corner.